It’s gotten to the point where we speak once a week and see each other maybe once every two weeks.I really like this guy, and was obviously getting frustrated that whatever was going on between us wasn’t going anywhere.And her frustration is what spurred me to write today’s post. You imply that you should get rid of the guys that don’t call regularly and make it obvious that they want to date and pursue a relationship and yet in the book you mention that you didn’t take your wife on a proper date for the first 4 weeks and how great she was that when you did call she was nice and said yes to whatever you proposed doing…and you ended up married….which is why women put up with flaky guys and “bad behavior”, holding out hope that it will change and turn into something serious. Or do you move on to the next guy because this one isn’t making much of an effort? But if Tanya is finding this grey area to be a bit too grey, then I have to acknowledge that perhaps I can do a better job of explaining it. So why does a man only call or text you once a week to make plans? If he expresses no interest in escalating the intensity of the relationship… So don’t worry about how much you like him, how strong your feelings are, or anything like that. Did they “see you” once a week for six months and suddenly declare their love? Potential boyfriends act like potential boyfriends. So give a guy 6-8 weeks to figure out his feelings, if necessary. For some people the 4 weeks turns into 4 months without them noticing and by then they’re in that pattern…and the behavior becomes acceptable yet unfulfilling and it’s too late to change it because you’ve been the “nice”, undemanding girl the whole time. Why is a man perfectly content only seeing you once every two weeks? Just evaluate your man on the effort he’s making for you. And if you don’t get the sense that the relationship is growing, the talk is brief and emotionless: “Hey Adam, it’s been fun getting to know you, but I get the sense that we’re not on the same page. Our first date was 9 hours long and I met all his friends.Every date we go on, he makes it obvious that he’s into me. He’s an awful texter, and so busy that we never see each other.Which could mean someone else is on the roster or they have other plans that are more interesting to them, like tickets to a game or whatnot. If they’re avoiding that conversation, it’s because they don’t want to be committed. But speak up and you can bet you’ll have your answer based on how they react. That sounds manipulative and malicious, but it’s really not. It’s acceptable that someone might not be able to stay over during the week, especially if they work odd hours or a regular 9-5. Don’t be fooled just because they meet your friends, either. Re: Meeting the family…I don’t think meeting someone’s family in the first 6 months or so is necessarily a deal breaker. I still stand by my assertion that, after 3-5 dates, if you’re not getting the full Friday night or Saturday night, you are merely an option on their playlist.Whatever that other thing might be, it means you are not high on the priority list. They make a lot of last minute plans – The occasional last minute thing isn’t that big of an issue. But if this is a common occurrence, there are two possible reasons. Although, after a while (say maybe a couple of months) you and they should have worked out some sort of schedule. So many of us come from what we lovingly call dysfunctional families. The whole point of getting the Friday or Saturday is to spend more time together the next day.
If he calls and texts and everything seems fine, there's nothing to worry about. Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. Over ,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. I would love to see her more often, but I work close to 50 hours a week, plus I recently got a condo and that whole process is taking a significant amount of time, but she understands that. 50 minutes may not seem like a lot to you, but its 2 hours of driving, maybe more with traffic. I think once a week is perfectly fine, but I have more of an independent mind where I don't really need to see the other person often. My question is, why does he have to make the effort to see you. Besides, it's best to leave more to the imagination and mystery in the beginning, it will keep things interesting. What DID surprise me is that, after the initial chemistry rush, Janie settled into a low-intensity pseudo-relationship that didn’t leave her at all satisfied. If he doesn’t follow through fast enough or often enough, make a mental note: “Hmm… I may have casually seen my wife for the first 4 weeks of our relationship, but I would always email the next day to say I had fun. Which is why I wasn’t at all surprised when she met a man only two weeks into our coaching sessions. Application of this made-up “rule” is surprisingly simple. He calls, he texts, he emails – you just “mirror” his efforts and give him enthusiasm and warmth every time. Let me preface this by saying that dating just for the fun of dating without any intention of committing is not wrong or bad. Accept the plans once or twice without saying you prefer to have more advanced notice or without sharing that you have other plans around which you need to schedule and they’ll think you’re always going to be available. But if you frequently find yourself at the other end of the 8pm or 9pm phone call asking you to meet them for a drink, or waiting by the phone on Thursday wondering if you’ll see them that weekend, you’re being taken advantage of. Everything is fun and light, and you two never talk about the future or where things are going.